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Then
* Now
08.07.06/10:44 am - Off on holiday in a minute. Dad is picking us up in twenty. I am so nervous, i just want to have a good time, i wish this eating disorder didn't have to ruin everything, always. I'm scared about having no scales, no supermarkets nearby to rush to in times of need, no time alone. Thank God i have my own room and bathroom, atleast that is some sort of relief. If Dad were to catch me purging or even know it was going on that would be the end of life as i know it. He would be so mad, and probably try and have me sectioned again like he did when i left in-patient years ago. I can't let it happen. Recently i've lost some weight but it definately isn't enough. There will be so many beautiful people over there, i just know it. I will worry about all i care about here and at TF while i am away, i really hope you will all take good care of yourself. I better go now, wish me luck, i have a feeling i will need it. |
* I could almost cry like tears of blood * and slowly it evaporates * without a scar without a trace * Sometimes too blue the moment passes * overhead so undetected * without default with no perfection * I could close my eyes & sleep forever * locked inside a secret silence * whisper deep into my head * Rewind erase and nothing remains * the way that nothing ever does |