I am in the hospital. My weight dropped furthur and i have been binging and purging so much. There was no other way out but death really.

The unit is okay, good in some ways, bad in others. The full diet is 2000 calories so not too horrific, but they can't offer therapy or anything similar because of lack of funding! I have been here since Monday so we will see.

I have only purged once, and it was just after a stupid hot chocolate (milky drink for evening snack). Today and yesterday i didn't purge at all, it seems impossible that i can say that.

I want to get better. I want a life. I am so fed up.

University is slightly on hold, but i am trying to keep a grip on it as much as i can. The hospital is liasing with my tutors to get me regular work coming in, so hopefuly i will be able to keep going.

Mum knows, Dad doesn't, thinks i am just at uni, fine and well, he would kill me if he found out.

I feel very lonely and sad. The other few patients have family and friends that come and visit and everytime i meet a new nurse they ask me where i am from and when my parents will be coming. I have to explain that Mum is just too far away. I miss her so much.

So that's it, i am sorry i hardly update this diary anymore. I still care a lot about many people here.