Sunday, Feb. 09, 2003/12:36 pm

Last goodbye

Everyday, she wakes,

to the same moon,

the same sky,

darkened clouds.

Energy stolen,

head lost in oblivion.

An empty stomach fueling her desire.

/

Near dead walking.

Stuttered words and distant faces.

Ignored promises, little white lies,

that she tells over and over again.

Keeping her secret locked up inside,

the cold, silver shard numbs.

Eyes unfocused.

Her thoughts float out the window.

Escaping from a surge of confusion.

She dosn't know where she's stepping.

Waiting for a voice, a hand, an angel,

that never comes.

/

Making sure she gets the last crumb,

at the end of the packet.

As if it would make her whole.

Reaching for help in a frenzy,

but it never works out.

Always ending up back in the same place,

Cold feet, blank mind.

Following the voice's command.

Treading like a zombie, deluded.

Playing the rules of guilt.

Making sure she sees that crumb one last time,

as it flushes away.

/

Pounds disappear

One more handful of hair down the plughole,

but it dosn't matter.

She just wants to be pure,

untouchable and out of reach.

Lacking trust she used to wear on her sleeve.

Carving into her skin,

trying to erase her sins.

Burning the hatred away.

Unable to face herself.

Thinking that she's too much.

Just too much.

/

Deep denial.

Trying to cover the bruises.

Excuse every fall as nothing,

every blood spot,

every torn dream.

She wants to forget,

she was ever here.

She wants to fly away,

give in to her shattered heart.

Treasure the black and blue.

Cry alone in the corner,

held up by pins and needles.

/

Laying at midnight,

unable to fall asleep.

Tired and weak,

plagued by exhaustion.

Crucifying thoughts.

Wishing to shut her eyes.

and give in to her last goodbye.