Sunday, Feb. 09, 2003/9:32 pm

failure

It's been three weeks till i made my aim to get down to 90 pounds.

21 days, today, it's rushed past so quickly.

I didn't do it.

I didn't make it.

I failed myself.

Again.

I feel like i've let down everyone else too, because i wrote that goal here for you all to see.

I can never tell what will happen, which direction my moods with swing in or where i'll land up.

Whats the point in promises I never keep?

Theres always weakness in the back of my mind when trying to reach something, always doubting myself.

I.

Am.

Useless.

I missed work today, i was so tired, rang up and said i couldn't make it, that i was ill. I slept for alot of the day.

More time wasted, more minutes of my life, ticking away my the second.

I havn't made up my mind about school tommorrow. I know i should go, but i'm just not sure, i'm scared of it.

Shards of broken dreams rest in the palms of my hands.

I clasp my fingers around them and try to forget.

The jaged points just dig into my skin, deeper and deeper.

/no/way/back/