Friday, Apr. 23, 2004/1:40 pm

weaker

I'm too weak to be doing this. Pulling myself back and forth from the bathroom to empty up binge after binge. I'm throwing up every small insignificant scrape of food or drink. Wiping my face with a flannel afterwards, trying to rid myself of the smell of sick. Glancing into the mirror, my pool of disgust, glassy eyes adjusting to the horror.

I went out shopping yesterday with Bryan. He took a day off college as he needed to get to the post office and send off for his provisional license. I just browsed really, he bought alot but i only came back with a pink zip-up top. I couldn't really settle down, i felt like he only bothered to ask because he felt sorry for me. I'm such a sad case. He kept offering me food, a bite of his sandwich or a few of his chips, but i politely said no. He understands why, we don't speak about it.

The doctor rang Wednesday night with my blood results. Everything seemed fine, apart from my potassium which was on the low side at 2.8. I had to pick up a prescription for sandoz k tablets, and i've got to take them twice a day and go for a repeat test next week.

I'm so tired, and i have a headache. I need a drink, ketones ever present, mouth parched of moisture. I'm going to go and lie down for a while, but hope i don't fall asleep as i need to tidy the kitchen and wash up before anyone gets home.