Monday, Sept. 16, 2002/8:32 pm

people everywhere

Today when we were in the school hall, everyone was eating lunch and i was listening to silverchair loudly on my discman, blocking their voices out. The hall was really crowded, people everywhere, laughing, talking, shouting. I felt in the middle of everything and so overwhelmingly self conscious. I looked around me, timidly trying not to let anyone see my face, and suddenly just started to shake. My head was spinning, and my chest became so tight, i was gasping for air. I buried my head in my bag, choking on the uncontrolable paranoia, desperatley hoping it would soon pass. Two of my friends noticed and started asking me what was wrong but i just agressivley just told them to leave me alone.

Things did calm down especially after the hall started to clear but i was still shaking for about an hour afterwards. This has happened once before. Panic Attack? I'm not sure, but if it wasn't i don't know what the hell it was.