Thursday, Feb. 06, 2003/2:25 pm

Anything But This

I want to be given a broken heart

An arrow through love

Black eyed, red marked cheek

A punch in the stomach.

I want deception

To be caught in someones trap

Or treasured items smashed under your feet

I want the adrenaline

Of holding a loaded gun

The high

of standing ontop of a skyscraper

looking down on busy streets

ready to fall

I want you to make me cry

tears that hit me hard

and flood my eyes

I want to be cheated

and lied to

the same way i lie to everyone else

Take everything of mine

Leave me holding onto nothing

I want you to steal from me.

/

I want to be jealous

of everyone and everything

Thoughts of stabbing people in the back

I want you to see my face

as i look at what i want to be

I want freedom

to leave inprints of bare feet in the sand

I want an ultimatum

either this or that

time to make up my mind

unable to look back

A life changing decision

a choice of substance

I want to hate my best friend

Charge her with wit

secretly plotting her defeat

I want evil revenge

a consequence of mislaid actions

I want you to tell me your real opinion

Give in on me

Before turning on your heel

/

I just want to be able to feel.

Anything.

But this.