I'm exhausted.

I've been sleeping alot during the day, but little at night. Laying down shattered after each purge just to pull myself back up and do it over again.

Get up. Weigh myself. Decide what to eat. Think about food. Think about getting rid of the food. It's always the same.

I flipped out over gaining a few pounds and since then my sugar levels have been mostly very high. It's been a losing struggle to keep up with the injections. I had been trying so hard but i'm going to have to try harder. The scale has since crept all the way back down but i feel terrible. My skin is so dry and itchy, and every morning when i rinse out my mouth the water comes back brown in colour. The air in my room smells of ketones.

It's difficult at home at the moment. I don't know what to say to them, and then don't know what to say to me.

Killing yourself can be awfully lonely at times.

The furthest i've gone today is to the wheely bin in our front garden, to discard of takeaway pizza boxes. Even then, i was on the look out, for neighbours or anyone passing through the street, anyone who might see me, the dirty clothes, the messy hair, the pleading eyes.

Is this it?