Friday, May. 17, 2002/9:22

crying

Lateley i've been feeling very loneley, like know one really realises my presence. I'm just like a piece of furniture alwsys there in the background. Unwanted and unworthy. I noticed that cassie, who i consider to be a pretty close friend of mine only said two words to me yesterday; hi and bye, That's all she can be bothered to say to me but u know i don't blame her.

I need to cry so badley, let it all out, all the emotion thats built up inside me. But i can't, i know this must sound ridiculous but when i feel as if i'm goin to cry no tears fall. I used to cry quite alot but then i just stopped. No matter how hard i need to i can't. What the hell is wrong with me? The only way i can release stuff is by scraping that blade across my skin and hoping everything will be gone when i'm finished. I wish i could let myself out with the blood or purge myslef of my personality. I cant stand me, i'm driving myself crazy.