Wednesday, Jul. 24, 2002/8:32 pm

"I woke up this morning. Afraid i was gonna live"

School finally ended for the summer yesterday. I made an appearance for the last day. Just to see their plastic faces and forge my fixed smile one more time before the holidays. I don't plan to seeing any of them too much during the break.

I'll just hide away. Hide away my burning face, hide so noone can see me and the state i'm in.

I'm gaining weight, and it's fueling this deep surge of hurt along. I lay crawled up on my bed clutching this disgusting weight, wishing i could just pull it away from me.

I'm distant, withdrawn. I drag myself through everyday, bareley coping, accepting this is the way it's always going to be.