Friday, Oct. 11, 2002/4:20 pm

obsessed? no not me

I havn't eaten since Monday, nearly 4 days of emptyness. Im going out tonight to the cinema for one of my friends birthdays, i'll tell my mum i've eaten out, and my friends i eat at home. simple. I don't know if i'll make it through tommorrow though, i feel really sick and my chest kills. I'm nearly back to 99 pounds again, hopefully i'll get there soon and be able to go lower. I've been avoiding my mum quite easily, just going out, or saying that i'm eating upstairs then throwing it away.

I know that fasting isn't always the easiest way to lose weight, and that you usually gain it all back afterwards. I'm just on some kind of power trip, even though i'm completley lethargic, faint and practically falling asleep on the desks at school i feel asthough i'm going somewhere. Maybe this isn't the best lane to be going down but atleast i can achieve something, expelling pounds of weight, it's trivial but it's something. Infact it's everything to me right now. I'll probabley gain it all back next week when i have no excuses left in me but at the moment this is what i'm living for. Maybe i'm just talking crap i dont know, oh well i usually do anyway. Sorry everyone who reads, about writing a whole entry just about weight and crap, i wonder am i a bit obsessed? lol