Friday, Nov. 08, 2002/10:53 pm

never empty

Start with one,

chocolate biscuit,

out of the tin.

Then another,

and another.

More and more,

unable to stop.

A packet of crisps,

a slice of cake,

anything and everything,

i can get my hands on.

Not taking time,

to really taste it at all.

-

Butter covered bread,

sickly cheese cut off in chunks,

sugar coated candy,

washed down with diet coke.

Reach into the freezer,

strawberry ice cream,

eaten out of the tub,

moulded round fingers,

sweet adiction.

-

Uncontrolable craving.

Fueling me,

pushing me on,

making me delve into the fridge,

raid the cupboards.

Trying to fill,

this space,

this hunger,

void.

That no amount of food,

will ever be able to satisfy.

-

Check no ones around,

force myself to the bathroom.

Holding my distorted stomach,

a plastic bag filled too heavy,

about to burst.

Tie back my hair.

Look down into the water.

Watch as the clarity changes,

colours and large shapes,

uncomfortable objects,

fall away.

Followed by smaller pieces,

entwined with fire red blood,

left with an acidic taste.

-

Flush the toilet,

the evidence destroyed,

but still,

adding another red dot,

in my memory.

White faced,

lie down,

try to stop shaking,

a few tears fall on my pillow.

The disgust is still here,

the lonlieness,

the hatred.

It never gets emptyed away,

like the rest of me.

Always here,

to remind me,

that tommorrow will be the same.

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