We have some-what made a truce. A Mc flurry offered as a peace maker from her to me, a hug, a night time chat. But still, the air is thick with awkwardness. We are both trying, trying to get through till Saturday.

& i truly want the best for her. I want her to be well and to achieve all she wants in life. I know this trip has been tainted with the knock on affects of our eating disorders, and that is so sad.

I am weak. I am not sure why but all i can seem to manage is sleeping. It's just turned 7pm here and i must have been up for two hours at the most today, yesterday wasn't much better. I don't know what is wrong with me.

I still just want her to be okay, more than anything. Despite what has been said, to which would be unfair to repeat, it's impossible to cut off the love and care i feel for her.

I can't get the idea out of my head, that it is me. I did this. I try to rationalise it, but i a always end up back here. With these battering insults crowded around me.

I will update again when i am home. Take care everyone x