I've got my apointment today at the diabetic clinic. I am so scared of what they might say or do, their judgemental eyes and misunderstanding. The humiliation of admitting i have failed. We will be leaving in about 15 minutes, i took some insulin a while ago in a desperate attempt to bring my sugars down but it hasn't made much of a difference. I'm so worried i'm just eating everything in sight. What's new?

I haven't been there in so long, atleast a year and a half, probably even two, i can't avoid it any longer.

Atleast they can't comment on my weight, it is up high again, too high. Nearing 'normal' status. It is all too hideous to think about. I have a chocolate bar in my hand as i tuype. This image is absolutely disgusting. In a minute i will go and make myself sick.

Wish me luck, i have a feeling i will need it.